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| from the movie trust 2011 |
This topic has been on mind for the past week as it deeply moved me but I never got the time to blog about it because I got swapped with work recently. I had the urge to blog about this topic after watching a movie called trust and reading a news report just the day after about -surprisingly- a similar case.
As we all know now in the age of technology, internet has made connections much easier than ever. More and more households these days have unfiltered or unprotected internet access for their children. Let me start by reviewing the movie trust. well it's not quite what you call a typical review but just trying to share my thoughts about it.
The story line for the movie is :" A suburban family is torn apart when fourteen-year-old Annie (Liana Liberato) meets her first boyfriend online. After months of communicating via online chat and phone, Annie discovers her friend (Chris Henry Coffey) is not who he originally claimed to be. Shocked into disbelief, her parents (Clive Owen and Catherine Keener) are shattered by their daughter's actions and struggle to support her as she comes to terms with what has happened to her once innocent life." (source :
IMDB ).
For me the movie channeled a very disturbing story - parents worst nightmare - that is shockingly widely spread amongst many societies even - especially - the conservative ones. -(Yes I'm speaking about the GCC, surprise surprise!)- as I will share a story later in this post of the same nature that happened in a neighboring country and I am fairly certain that it is happening around us whether we like it or not. The movie was really good at channeling the innocence of a young teen and how the lack of supervision of her unaware naive parents led to a life altering- devastating experience. I think
Liana Liberato has played her part very well as a young teen "annie" the victim in the movie.
What also touched me in the movie was the follow up after the tragic situation has happened; how the family functioned afterwards. In the movie the family was fairly positive in their reaction to the whole situation. Allow me to add here that if the same story happened in a more conservative community - and I mean in our societies in the GCC ofcourse- the whole reaction would be quite different. for starters the girl would be held responsible, also parents -usually the father or brother in this situation- might react violently to the victim and ofcourse put the whole blame on her. I'm not going to discuss about how close-minded or uneducated people here can be, which I think is in every society, but my concern is the innocent child that got carried away with false promises and lack of guidance from adults as well as education.
What I liked and found very interesting in the movie is that the friend of the victim was the whole reason how the parents found out and got help for their daughter through a therapist which I want to emphasize here and put a gazillion highlight on that word. It's very crucial for a victim to get over this kind of horrifying experience through a psychological therapy which sadly is not very popular or assigned with a shame tag on it here.
The friend in the movie noticed the change in the victim and therefore reported to adults about what she thought has happened. The circle of friends is unbelievably important as it may save innocent lives based on our story here from the child rapist and as well as getting help for the victim to recover from such a situation.
As the story progressed, and the damage has been done to the family, the police didn't catch the predator which happens alot in real life. The saddest and the most scary part of the whole story is that these predators/criminals/soul-less jerks, walk around in what seems to be a perfectly normal life with typical families and looks. In the movie he was a father, school teacher and a husband who is quite popular in his community!!!! It is really frightening and makes you wonder if your faith or trust in humans these days is possible!
A real-life similar story that I read the next day was for a
serial child rapist in Jeddah, KSA . This animal has been charged with kidnapping and raping 13 girls since 2008!! The similarity in the story here that he is
a 42-year-old married Saudi school teacher with five children! I was speechless after reading it. here is the full story if you couldn't open the link :
JEDDAH: An alarming case involving a serial child rapist and kidnapper has raised fear among parents living in the Kingdom.Police recently arrested a man in connection with the series of attacks. He has since been charged with kidnapping and raping 13 girls since 2008. The suspect is a 42-year-old married Saudi schoolteacher with five children."Saudi Arabia is one of the safest countries and honestly I feel like Jeddah is one of the safest and most peaceful cities compared to what goes on in the Middle East or in big metropolitan cities globally. But recent cases of kidnap and rape have ignited fear in the minds of many parents, including myself," Kholoud Samarji, a 44-year-old mother of two, told Arab News.Many residents believe that most rape cases go unreported because of the belief that such incidents would damage the affected families’ honor."In most cases where a rape has taken place, the family tries to suppress the matter because it will give them a bad name. People will try and preserve their reputation rather than report a case where a female member has been abused," said Salma Shukar, a 37-year-old HR manager in Jeddah.She believes people should be more culturally and morally aware and respond appropriately to incidents they feel threaten society, as that can help crack down on crime and prevent further exploitation of women and children.On Thursday a 12-year-old Saudi boy who reportedly went joyriding with a friend in Qassim got injured in the process. He later claimed he was kidnapped and injured when he was forced out of the car.Claiming a ransom, making a political statement, vengeance and sexual motives are often the reasons why kidnappings are carried out.Children are seen as easy victims and an increasing rate of child assaults recently have proven they are prime targets.A kidnapping often involves meticulous planning, taking into account the victim’s likely whereabouts.Police advise that an adult should accompany children under 13 to school and back to protect them. When dropping and picking up students, monitoring posts should be set up and if possible with cameras. Most parents urged authorities to conduct awareness programs to educate students and parents."They can educate us on using the best preventive methods, and explain the security system in schools. When we drop our kids to school, it is the school's responsibility to take care of them. What happens after school is the parents’ liability," said IT worker Saad Hatem, 28, living in Jeddah.Identification cards can be allocated to drivers or whom the parents authorize to pick up their child. The school in turn should verify their credentials. Schools can devise a system to report unexpected absences of students and contact parents if these are repeated.Some parents also enroll their children in self-defense classes. "I send my daughters to learn taekwondo and other martial arts for self-defense. They should be prepared and not be afraid to defend themselves. I want them to be well-prepared," said Zainab Basher, a 40-year-old mother of four girls."We cannot all be together all the time. My daughters on several occasions encounter malicious men, and I want them to be able to take care of themselves, not rely on others."Most Saudi families who can afford domestic help and nannies make their maids and drivers escort their children to school. But parents who cannot afford this luxury said other preventive methods should be adhered to in order to keep children safe."You should keep an eye on what's going on around your child. Make sure you are in contact with them and they are given guidelines that they must follow. If my son has not checked in after 1 a.m. I call him. It is your duty as a parent to ensure you do not let lapses endanger your child's growth," said marketing manager Mahmoud Abbas, 35.It is advisable to never leave children unattended or out of sight in public places. Parks and shopping malls are especially high-risk places."This is the case especially in cars with the keys still in the ignition. If anyone sees a parent leaving their child unattended in unsafe circumstances, we should approach them and let them know. There are no programs or education on these matters, so we should do the best we can," said housewife Bana Mohammed, 42.In most cases, a personal security alarm can be fixed in homes in case of a break-in. Some parents use a GPS child-tracking device.Faisal Badar, head of security at a girls school in Jeddah, said: "I have to ensure that every girl gets into the right car. Sometimes men try and give their numbers out but I make sure they disperse without causing chaos. I know drivers by face now and in many cases I confirm with the girls if they know the driver they are going with.”He claimed most men who are rather old and roam in expensive cars “probably have daughters the age of the girls they chase.” source link
What I think is the solution here to happen is to have an open dialogue with parents and their children.That's the whole goal of the movie trust I guess, showing people what is really happening out there as there are so many similar horrifying and worse stories out there.
It doesn't matter whether you live in the US or here in Oman, this could happen anywhere. I hope nobody would give me the " we are different" kind of speech because it's simply BS. It's worse here because we don't have proper education on how to prevent or handle these situations in case it happened.
This whole topic is depressing as change can't happen overnight and I think there should be more people talking about sexual abuse/rape victims in here.
I recommend the movie for every parent out there along with their children/teens. Watching is better than hearing or reading only.
please share your thoughts with us.
cheers,
M
